


Youth

by UnholyDarkness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: About 15, Castiel is not an angel, Dean and cas are early to mid twenties, Eventual sexy times, M/M, Maybe a slow burn, Virgin Castiel, Young Castiel (Supernatural), Young Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester, church, preist castiel, sam is younger au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-05 13:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnholyDarkness/pseuds/UnholyDarkness
Summary: Castiel is a new priest with a very dark past that may come back to haunt him. Dean is a young hot head, trying desperately to help his father catch his mother’s supernatural killer while also taking care of Sam. One day they meet during a cut and dry hunt and figure out together how to let their past go and start working on their future.





	1. There was this girl

**Author's Note:**

> No real title yet, please help. Also if you like it and want more pleeeeeeease give me motivation to stop being such a lazy boy and get shit done.
> 
> Thank you! Enjoy!

I’m sorry, but you can’t smoke here.”

Dean took in a large inhale from his cigarette and let it out slowly. 

“What?” He asked, tone lazy. He cracked one eye open, squinting against the sun as he looked up at the man in front of him. 

“You can’t smoke here.” The man said again, and when Dean’s eye finally focused he saw a priest standing tall and elegant, hands clasped neatly in front. 

Dean closed his eye again, taking yet another deep inhale. The priest sighed quietly and shifted to sit down next to him, waving a hand in the air to disperse the lingering smoke. They sat in a blissful silence for a few moments as Dean finished up his cigarette. 

“Do you need help?” The priest asked quietly, “we have a few programs through the church that specialize in domestic-“

“I’m fine.” Dean cut him off, putting the cigarette out on the bottom of his old shoe. He brushed his thumb over the cut on his lip, then up to the bruise on his cheek. “Just wanted to relax for a moment, this place make me feel safe, yknow?”

Dean turned to look at the priest, just as the man smiled. 

“I do. I find great solace in walking through these halls.” The priest was watching him with heavy eyes and a light heart. “Service will be starting soon, will you be joining us?”

Dean snorted, “no, got a little brother at home I need to get back to.”

“I understand.” The priest said watching as the young man stood slowly, tucking the cigarette butt into his front pocket. 

Dean sighed heavily stretching slightly before turning to glance back at the priest, “I’m Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester.” He said, polite as ever, “It was nice meeting you.” 

The priest stood and held out his hand, waiting for Dean to grasp it in a firm shake, then said, “you can call me Castiel.”

Dean huffed air though his nose and smiled slightly, “figures. You’re a friggin’ angel, eh?”

Castiel didn’t smile back, simply said, “I suppose.” 

Castiel dropped Dean’s hand as the church doors opened behind him, a woman and her crying young child slipping quietly down the stairs and towards the parking lot, the woman trying to shush her child softly.

Castiel watched silently as Dean observed them, a longing hidden deep in his eyes.

“Your brother?” Castiel asked carefully. “You should get back to him.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.” Dean said, pulling his gaze from the couple. “See ya around, Cas.”

Dean turned and started down the side walk towards the motel they were staying at, glancing back for just a moment to see Castiel standing at the church doors, watching him. He kept walking for a while until he reached the motel room and used the key to open the door. 

“Hey ya, Sammy. Anything good?” Dean asked when he saw his younger brother watching cartoons on the small box television. 

“Not really.” Sam said, shrugging one shoulder up.

“Dad come back yet?” Was his second question.

“Yeah, he came back for a few hours to shower and eat, then took off again. He said he’s close to finding the Vamp nest.” Sam said without looking away from the tv, hand digging into the box in his lap, pulling out a handful of cereal. 

“I bet,” Dean grunted at he fell back on the bed, bouncing slightly. 

His conversation with Castiel replayed over and over in his mind. He recalled the dark, wild hair, light blue eyes, and deep voice. Just the memory of it soothed Dean in a way he never thought he’d get again, not since his mom passed and his dad was hell bent on revenge. Dean needed to see Castiel again, to talk to him. He contemplated this for a while, working up the courage to speak these thoughts out loud. 

After a few moments of silence broken up by the cartoon, Dean asked, “would you want to go to church?”

“Church?” Sam asked and turned around to fully face Dean, “I mean I wouldn’t mind, but do you think dad would actually let us go?”

Dean stared up at the ceiling as he answered casually, “what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? Besides, the service probably started already. If dad left again, you know he won’t be back for a few days, I won’t tell if you won’t.”

“Ok, yeah. Let’s go to church.” Sam said, smiling as Dean sat up to look at him, “if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

 

When they arrived at the church, service was already half way done, so they made their way in quietly and sat in the back. Dean listen to Castiel speak, voice solid and confident in every word he said, beautiful in its own right. The words didn’t mean much to him, in one ear and out the other sort of thing, but that voice was like cool balm on a harsh burn. He couldn’t help but smile as Castiel got more and more righteous as he continued to speak the word of God, the passion in his voice making Dean feel warm in his chest. The warmth spread, soothing long awaited aches and bruises, emotional more then physical. With each word he felt himself falling deeper and deeper into his calmed state, eyes closing as he relaxed into the bench. 

“Dean? Hey Dean, the service is over.” Sam shook his brother as people all around started to stand slowly, “if you wanted to sleep we could have just stayed in the room.”

“Wasn’t sleeping.” Dean mumbled, “come with me, I want to introduce you to someone.” He stood and walked towards the front of the huge church, where Castiel and another priest were talking with some members. 

When Castiel saw Dean approaching he politely excused himself and made his way over. They met in the middle of the long isle, not saying a word for a moment, until Sam broke the silence by clearing his throat. 

“Uh, Cas, this is my little brother, Sam? The one I told you about.” Dean said glancing down at his little brother, who was smiling up at the priest.

“Hello, Sam.” Castiel said, leading down to give Sam a hand shake, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.” Sam said, distracted as he saw a small food table at the side of the church. 

Castiel noticed and said, “it’s not just for members, everyone’s welcome.”

“Thanks!” Sam said happily as he ran off to grab some food. 

Dean chuckled, “sorry about him.” 

“It’s fine.” Castiel stood up and looked back to Dean, “I’m glad you decided to join us.”

“Yeah, me too.” Dean said bashfully, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I’ve never been to church. Neither has Sammy. I just thought it might be a nice change.”

“I see. Are your parents here?”

“Oh. Uh, no actually. Mom’s been gone for a while and dad uh, he had a job.” Dean said, glancing over to Sam, making sure he was still at the table. “I just thought, y’know, if I felt safe outside, how would I feel inside?”

“And how do you feel? Did you enjoy the service?” Castiel asked, gaining back Dean’s attention. “I know that for me, whether I’m giving mass or someone else, I can feel the Holy Spirit moving through me.” He smiled slightly at the thought.

“Yeah well, I don’t know about //feeling the Holy Spirit// but I do know that I loved hearing you talk. You’re so passionate with your words.” Dean said, watching as a light rose color tinted Castiel’s cheeks at the praise. 

“Well, thank you, Dean. I’ve devote my entire life to God. There’s not a day I regret my decision to become a priest, one of the only good things I’ve done actually.” Castiel said quite seriously. 

Dean didn’t know how to respond for a moment, then said, “would you like to go out sometime?”

Castiel spluttered, cheeks burning.

“No, shit- I mean shoot that’s not what I meant.” Dean said quickly holding his hands out, “I mean as friends, to talk, hang out. Maybe get a cup of coffee or something?”

Castiel calmed slightly before saying, “Priests don’t really “hang out”, Dean.”

Dean raised an eyebrow at the physical air quotes Castiel used, “yeah, I figured. Well anyway, great service, maybe I’ll see you around sometime.” He turned to walk away, towards Sam, but was stopped when Castiel grabbed his arm.

“Wait, Dean-“ Castiel cut himself off, seemingly stuck on what to say, then settled with, “maybe one cup wouldn’t hurt.”

“Great,” Dean smiled, “how about tomorrow? It’s Monday so Sam will be in school, I’ll have plenty of time.”

“Monday sounds great, Dean. 9 am at the Coffee shop on 12th? Next to the book store?” Castiel asked.

“Works for me. I’ll see ya there, Cas.” 

 

 

Castiel watched Dean walk to his brother, laughing quietly when he saw Sam pouting at having to leave. 

“Well that was interesting.” 

Castiel startled and turn to see one of his older brothers standing just feet away.

“Gabriel, hello. Glad you could make it.” Castiel said as he walked the short distance to his brother. 

“You know I wouldn’t miss it.” He said seriously before a giant, goofy grin spread across his face, “beside if I did I wouldn’t have been able to see my baby brother being flirted with.”

“He was not flirting with me.” Castiel said, and it was true. Just friendly conversation. 

“Whatever you say, bro.” Gabriel said on a laugh. “Anyway, listen. Dad is coming down next weekend for Michael’s birthday and he wants all of us to go down to the jail to see him. I told him we weren’t going but he’s insisting.”

Castiel sighed and rubbed at his temple, “I’ll be there.” He said tiredly. At Gabriel’s annoyed look he said, “God doesn’t turn his back on any of his children, neither will I.”

“I know,” Gabriel said, resigned, “just be careful, ok? You remember how he was the last time. It’s like he doesn’t even care that he-“ he cut himself off, “never mind. It’s doesn’t matter now. I gotta go but I’ll see you next Sunday, yeah?”

They hugged briefly and Castiel watched his brother leave. He then made his way through the church and to his room, changing into lighter clothes. He sat on his bed for a moment, then leaned forward to pick up a picture frame from his dresser. His thumb rubbed lightly over the body of one of his oldest brothers, smiling softly at the image of his younger, ten year old self grinning up at the older man. He placed the picture down as he stood back up, then made his way to the small dining room for lunch.

 

 

When Dean and Sam got to the motel room, they noticed their dads car in the lot immediately. As soon as they opened the door their dad shot up from the bed and shouted, “where the hell have you been? I’ve been here for two hours, Dean!”

“We went to the church,” Sam spoke up, “Dean made a new friend.”

“Jesus, Dean, no note or anything? Do you know how worried I was? I’m here hunting vampires, and suddenly my kids are gone with no notice? Don’t do that to me!” John shouted his words angrily, slamming his fist down on the table, startling the two boys.

“Dad, I’m sorry, we didn’t think you’d be back so soon. You’re usually gone for longer then just a few hours and being here all day makes us feel cooped up.” Dean reasoned, sad that he made his father angry enough to yell.

John calmed at the words of his oldest boy, knowing them to be true, “I know. You’re right. You scared me is all. I can’t lose you two, ok? Next time just leave a note or give me a call.”

“Ok, dad. We will.” 

“Good, good.” John said as he sat down on the bed, lowering his head into his hands, “shit,” he mumbled quietly.

“Go take a shower, Sam, school tomorrow.” Dean said and lightly pushed Sam towards the bathroom door.

Sam went without protest and shut the door quietly behind himself. Dean took a moment before sitting down on the bed next to John. 

“Dad?” Dean asked quietly and his fathers fingers tightened in his hair, “I’m sorry about not leaving a note, it won’t happen again.”

“Damn right it won’t. Fuck, Dean, you know how dangerous it is out there!” John tried not to shout as he heard the water turn on behind them, “Sam doesn’t hunt much, Dean. He could be seriously hurt if you don’t get your act together, ok? Call me next time.” He looked at Dean pleadingly, hoping to get his desperation across. 

“Of course, dad. I’ll call.”

John sighed and slapped his hand down on Dean’s knee, giving it a little squeeze as he stood up and walked towards his duffel bag, which was sitting on a small round dining table. “So, Church? I gotta tell you, I wasn’t expecting that.” He laughed a little at the idea of it.

“Yeah well, ya know, the kid gets what he wants.” Dean said, not mentioning that it was his idea. “Sam is young, he doesn’t know what to believe in.”

“It’s ok, Dean. You won’t get in trouble for going to church, even though you know how I feel about it. As long as we get the S.O.B that killed you’re mom, I don’t honestly care what you do in your spare time.” John said honestly as he pulled a hand gun out of the bag and began taking it apart to clean it. 

“I know.” Dean said seriously, “well get ‘em.”

“Good, now come over here. I’ve been wanting to teach you how to clean a gun, now is a good time as any.”

They cleaned gun silently for a while when Dean said, “there’s a priest at the church, Castiel. He seems nice. We’re going to get coffee tomorrow.”

John looked up from his gun, studying his sons face, “A priest, huh? Think that’s a good idea?”

Dean sighed and set the gun he was working on down, “I don’t know.” He said truthfully, “I think the only reason he decided to go was to get me to talk about the bruises.”

“Dean,” his father said in warning.

“No, I know. I won’t tell him anything.” Dean said quickly, “I just- being in church, around Castiel, it made me feel closer to Mom somehow. Safer.”

“You don’t have to explain to me, Dean. If you need this to help you with Mary, then do it.” John said, “but be careful, ok? I don’t want to have to leave this Vamp nest behind because you let something slip and we have to get the hell out of doge.”

“I won’t tell him anything. I promise.”


	2. Drink in her hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter titles are nothing btw, just place holders until I get better ones. Any ideas? Let meh know

The next day Dean woke up to an empty motel room and panicked for just a moment, until he saw a note taped to the television.

//Dropped Sam off at school, won’t be back for a few days. The room is paid up and there is money in your wallet for food and supplies. Stay safe. —Dad//

Dean folded the note up and tucked it into a small zippered pocket on his jacket. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, he stretched a bit and decided he would have enough time to shower before his coffee “not” date with Castiel. 

 

Castiel sat at a table towards the back of the coffee shop, one elbow on the surface, head resting in hand, using his other hand to stir his sugary sweet coffee. Just as he shifted to pour in some more milk, the door jingled and he saw that it was Dean, dressed in the same boots, light colored jeans, with a dark green shirt and dark leather jacket. Castiel felt a little over dressed with his pressed black pants and button up shirt, but it was much too late to change now.

“Dean,” Castiel said, nodding with a smile as the young man reached the table, “glad to see you again.” Awkwardly, he pulled Dean into a friendly hug, not really knowing why he did it. “Please sit, what would you like to order? My treat.”

“Oh uh, just plain black coffee will be fine, thanks.”

Castile nodded and proceeded to the line to order the drink, paid and made his way back to the table. 

“So,” Castiel said once they were settled, “what is it I can help you with?”

“Nothing, Cas. I said I just wanted to hang out.”

“I believe friends are the kind to hang out. You don’t even know me.” Castiel tried to reason, “besides, wouldn’t you like some guidance? That’s what most people come to me for.”

“I don’t need any guidance,” Dean said, slightly frustrated. He winced as he took a sip of his coffee, stretching his cut lip, making it burn slightly. “My Mom used to tell me angels were watching over me when I was young and I don’t know, meeting you seemed almost like fate. A priest named Castiel. How much more angelic can you get?”

“Trust me, Dean. I am far from angelic.” Castiel said seriously, the friendly smile slipping from his lips. He took a deep gulp of his burning coffee, “we’ve all done things that need atoning and there is nothing wrong with that.” Castiel saw the way Deans expression turned sour, the way the young man reached up to brush the deep bruise on his cheek. “You can talk to me you know. Even if we aren’t in confession, you can still confide in me.”

 

Dean felt silly for even contemplating telling Castiel what was going on. How could he explain to a civilian that last week him and his father took down a Windigo three states over, and the reason he had the bruising was because he got into a fist fight with it before his father could shoot it in the heart with silver bullet, then proceeded to bury the heart on church grounds while salting and burning the body. Yeah, no. Not gonna happen. 

“Not really much to tell, got in a fight, threw a few punches, got some thrown back. Nothin’ to write home about.” Dean said as casually as he could. 

Castiel could tell Dean wasn’t up to telling him the real reason for the bruise, so he decided to change the subject, “how did you like the service?”

“It was nice. I like hearing you talk.”

Castiel blushed and ducked his head, “Thank you.” 

“You’re cute, Cas. Anyone ever tell you that before?” Dean asked, grinning as Castiel’s blush darkened. 

“My family, yes. Quite often actually.” Castiel answered, smiling back at Dean. 

It took Dean a moment to respond, taken back by the beautiful mans genuine smile. He swallowed thickly as he watch Castiel drink more of his coffee. 

“That’s good. Someone should be telling you.” Dean sat back in the booth, hands cupping his warm drink, basking in the comfortable heat. ”I don’t really know what I’m doing here.” He said honestly, shaking his head slightly as he looked down at the empty space on the table between them. 

“In San Antonio? Well it can’t be for the weather.” Castiel joked with a small laugh.

Dean smiled and huffed air through his nose, “I’m used to all types of weather actually. But no, I meant here,” he gestured around with one hand, “in this coffee shop. With you.”

“Oh, to be honest, I was wondering that myself. I thought you brought me here to discuss your...” Castiel trailed off as he nodded at the bruising on Dean’s face. “But if that is not what you want, we can talk about whatever you’d like. It’s nice to be out of the church for once.”

“Glad I could help with that. I need to be honest here, Cas. I don’t really know why but I feel very safe with you around in a way I haven’t felt since my mother died.” Dean looked up and locked eye with Castiel, seeing the affection in the priests eyes, glad it wasn’t pity. “I wish we were staying longer so I could get to know you better. I want to know every friggin’ thing about you, man. I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Dean,” Castiel said in his deep, reassuring voice, laying a hand over Dean’s, “I promise you that you are not alone in this. People have smoked in the church steps before and I never said anything but with you... I had to speak to you. It was like something was pulling me in, drawing me to you.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Dean said quickly, a child like excitement coloring the tone of his voice, “I saw you and I new. I just new.”

Castiel sat in silence for a few moments before saying, “there’s something I want to give you. It’s back at my room in the church, it is a bit of a walk but I believe it will be worth it.”

Dean grinned and said, “lead the way.”

After finishing their coffees, they walked the long 45 minuets to the church, talking along the way. They talked about anything that came to mind: favorite colors, foods, drinks, etc... Though Castiel’s answers were much more simple then Dean’s, they had a wonderful time learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. Castiel learned that Dean and his family traveled a lot. He learned that Sam prefers greens over Dean’s love for meat products. He learned that Dean hadn’t graduated from high school and had to reassure him that it did change his opinion of the man. They talked a bit about their families and where they were born. 

All in all the long walk seemed short with each other as company, Dean never thought he’d feel this close to someone he’d only know for a day. Before they knew it they were at the church both happy to finally rest and disappointed that their time together was almost over.

 

 

Castiel brought Dean into the church through a side door and to his room which wasn’t far from the entrance. He felt mildly embarrassed at the lack of items he had in his room, but with God in his life, he didn’t have much room for anything else.

He went over the his bed side dresser and pulled out a rustic, antique jewelry box. Sitting down on the edge of his twin sized bed he patted the spot next to him, encouraging Dean to sit. He opened the box and pulled out the only contents: a silver vessel with just enough glass showing to see a radiating, bright blue liquid-like substance swirling around inside. 

“Wow,” Dean breathed as Castiel pulled the vessel out by its long silver chain, placing it in Dean’s open palm. “What is it?” He asked as his eye flittered between Castiel’s and the beautiful blue liquid. 

“I don’t know. I found it when vacationing in Africa with my brother, Michael. He was doing an expedition there for relics for his church and I took it from their inventory. It was just so beautiful. I couldn’t resist.” Castiel said, eyes focused on the glowing blue contrasting against Dean’s tanned hands.

“What a bad boy you turned out to be.” Dean smirked.

“Well I was very young,” Castiel tried to defend, “besides, I know Michael saw me take it. I’m not sure why he didn’t stop me, but it felt like a blessing.”

“It’s amazing, Cas.” Dean said as he tried to gently place the vessel back into the box but was stopped. 

“No, I’d like you to keep it.” Castiel said as he took the chain and looped it over Dean’s head. 

“I couldn’t possibly-“

“It’s yours now. Something to remember me by.” Castiel said with a soft smile when Dean looked up at him with wide, dazzling eyes. 

Castiel’s breath escaped him when suddenly Dean was wrapping his arms around him tightly, nuzzling his head into Castiel’s soft shirt. 

“Thank you.” Dean mumbled into the fabric, sighing when Castiel shook himself out of his daze, returning the hug. 

Dean pulled back slowly, looking down at the necklace, enjoying the weight next to the necklace his brother gave him. He looked back up, eyes uncharacteristically shining with tears. Slowly, as if they were planets slowly gravitating closer, their lips met softly just for a moment, then Castiel pulled back.

“Dean.” He said, this time apologetic.

Dean squeezed his eyes closed, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Castiel’s and said, “Don’t. It’s ok, I understand why we can’t I just-“

Castiel pulled away and cupped Dean’s jaw, gently forcing him to look up, “under different circumstances this would be one of the greatest moments of my life.” He said truthfully. “My heart and body is with God, Dean.”

“I know.” Dean said quietly. 

Castiel took a deep, shuddering breath and leaned forward again. This might be his only chance to feel this way and he wasn’t ready to let it go. He kissed Dean with a confidence he didn’t really feel, other hand coming up to hold Dean’s head in place. He moaned as Dean kissed back with just as much passion. They pulled away moments later, both breathing heavily. 

“God...” Dean breathed, then, “shit! I mean shoot.” 

Castiel chuckled deeply and kissed Dean one last time. “I’m sorry I can’t offer more.”

“No, please don’t apologize.” Dean said, “it’s not your fault.” He pulled back and clutched at the vessel, “I should go.”

“Yes.” Castiel said quietly, sadly. 

“I’ll see you around, Cas.”

 

 

Two days later, Castiel hadn’t seen Dean again and it was driving him crazy. Currently, while having lunch with Gabriel, his mind kept wondering back to green eyes, wild hair and smooth, so smooth, lips. 

“What the hell are you doing,” Gabriel asked abruptly, eyes narrowed at Castiel’s lips.

“What?” 

“You keep puckering up your lips. It’s really starting to freak me out.”

Castiel sighed and picked at a napkin, “I kind of kissed someone.”

Gabriel’s face absolutely lit up at the words, and Castiel felt instant regret, “Castiel, you naughty boy!”

“Gabriel.” Castiel didn’t want to hear it, still feeling open and raw from the experience. 

“I’m just fucking with ya, Bro. So, who was it? What’s her name?” Gabriel asked as he eyes flitted throughout the diner as if he would find the person that easily.

“Well,” Castiel stalled as he looked down with burning cheeks.

“Castiel!” Gabriel basically shrieked, then calmed when most of the other diners glanced at him, “it was a boy wasn’t it?”

”It wasn’t a /boy/ but yes, he was of the male species.” Castiel pauses and took a deep breath, then said, “I gave him my necklace.”

“Wow,” Gabriel’s face turned sad suddenly, “that’s some deep shit right there, Castiel. You much like him a lot. What are you gonna do?”

Castiel sighed, “I have to let it go. I dedicated my heart and body to God the day Lucifer died. I made vows, Gabriel, I can’t go back on that.”

“Who you trying to convince here?” Gabriel asked with a slight laugh, dropping it after Castiel closed his eyes tightly, as if stoping tears. “So, tell me about him. What’s he like?”

“Do you remember the guy, Dean, who was flirting with me in the Church?”

“Of course I do. Not every day you see a priest fawning over another dude right in the middle of a church.” Gabriel laughed at Castiel’s attempt to glare.

“Anyway,” Castiel pressed, “that was him. He’s sweet and kind, despite what his outward appearance would show.”

Gabriel watched his youngest brother get lost in thought, eyes looking at something in the distance, as if remembering something from long ago. His lips slightly puckered again and Gabriel threw his head back with a frustrated groan. 

“Castiel, listen to me. If you like this guy, and I can tell you do don’t lie to me, you have to go for it! How many wasted opportunities are you going to have before you get sick of it and do something irrational, huh?” Gabriel slammed his fist down on the table in passion, startling Castiel, “you deserve to be happy and I feel you’ll never truly be happy as a priest if you don’t explore all your options first.”

Castiel wanted to argue, but he wanted Dean so much that he couldn’t find the words. He knew Gabriel was right, how many more of these opportunities would he pass up before he did do something crazy. 

“You’re right, I have to at least try. Where would I even start? For all I know he’s already left town.”

“Well, start at where he was staying.”


	3. Shooting me a “let get into trouble” grin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn about Castiel’s troubling past and our dudes get frisky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They say Lucifer’s name like it’s normal btw. Also I cuss a lot, so will the characters.

Castiel stopped his bike outside of a sleazy motel just past the outskirts of the main town. He slowly made his way to the main office, shying back at the lewd look he was getting from a guy who was standing outside his room, smoking a joint, not even trying to hide the fact he smelt strongly of the medical plant. Stepping inside the door and away from the look eased him only slightly. 

“Mornin’ darlin’.” 

The woman at the front desk had her hair up in a messy bun, make up light with thick mascara. She leaned heavily on the counter, pen in her hand, that mornings crossword puzzle from the paper a laid out in front of her. From what he could see from the counter, her clothes were dingy and old, stained by something he didn’t want to name. Castiel was never one to judge, so he paid no mind to the faint stench coming off the woman and stepped up to greet her. 

“You here for the hourly rate special we got goin’?” She asked, accent light, one eyebrow cocked almost as lewd as the man outside. 

While Castiel was wearing semi casual clothing, he had on his collar, now wishing he had left it at home as the woman glanced down at it while seemingly trying to hold in a laugh. 

“No, actually.” He said, shifting uncomfortably, “I was looking for someone who might be staying here.”

Just then, the bell on the front door rang, causing Castiel to look back and see his topic of interest walking through the door. Dean stopped when he saw Castiel then made his way to the counter. 

“Morning, Bessy.” Dean said politely, “here to pay up for another week.”

“‘Course, darlin’. One eighty-seven will top you up.” Bessy said, gladly ignoring Castiel in favor of accepting the cash. 

“Dean,” Castiel said and grabbed Dean’s arm as Dean simply turned to leave without acknowledging Castiel’s existence. “Wait, can I talk to you? Please.”

Dean sighed and glanced down as Castiel’s hand, making Castiel flinch back as if burned.

“Sure, guess it couldn’t hurt. Follow me.” 

Castile followed Dean out of the front office, grabbing his bike on the way, silently thanking the heavens that the man from earlier was gone. They stopped outside a room and Castiel leaned his bike against the pole just outside, securing it with a chain and lock. The room wasn’t anything like what Castiel expected. It was clean, a duffle bag at the end of both beds and one next to what had to be the bathroom door. If it wasn’t for those he would have thought no one was staying there at all. 

Dean sat on the bed closest to the door and patted the spot next to him, “come on, sit down. I don’t bite.” He grinned.

Castiel smiled back and sat next to him. “Dean, I want to talk about the other day when we kissed.”

Dean barked out a laugh, standing up, “Well damn. You don’t hold anything back, do you?” he made his way over to what looked like a mini fridge and pulled out two beers, he held one out to Castiel with a raised brow.

“Oh, no thank you. I don’t drink.” 

“You don’t have to drink all of it, just a few sips to calm you down. You look as stiff as a board.” He held the beer out again, shaking it a bit. 

Castiel took it and followed Dean‘s lead as he twisted off the cap. The first sip almost made him gag, the taste bitter and sharp on his tongue. He took another longer one as he watched Dean take a few large gulps, dazzled at how the man could stand such a taste. 

“Look, Cas, you don’t need to explain to me again why we can’t start anything. I got it loud and clear the first time.” 

“That’s not why I’m here.” Castiel said, taking another drink as he steadied himself, “I’m here because I liked it and I want to do it again.”

Dean choked on his beer, eyes wide as he coughed. When he caught his breath he said, “jeez, blunt much?”

“Uh, no. I don’t smoke either.” Castiel said, getting confused when Dean started laughing. What a weird guy. “I liked kissing you,” He pressed, “your lips were very soft and tasted of hunny. I like hunny.”

Dean blushed, ducking his head, “wow, Cas. You really know how to woo a gal.”

Before Castiel could argue that Dean was most definitely not a gal, Dean kneeled in front of him, hand coming down to rest on his upper thigh. His thumb stroked up and down slowly, making Castiel’s breath catch in his throat. 

“Dean I-“ 

“Shh.”

Castiel slammed his eyes shut as Dean leaned forward and pressed their lips together, heart beating so fast in his chest that it was almost starting to hurt. 

Dean pulled back, smiling, “usually you’re supposed to kiss back.”

“Sorry, I haven’t kissed many people.”

“I can tell,” Dean chuckled, “just follow my lead, ok?”

Castiel nodded and tightened his grip on the beer bottle as they kissed again. This time he leaned into it, moving his lips in time with Dean’s, getting lost in the feeling. He sucked in a sharp breath when he realized he was getting hard, panic building in his stomach at the long forgotten sensation. He opened his mouth to tell Dean that maybe they should stop but when he did Dean casually slipped his tongue inside, teasing Castiel’s into playing. He relaxed once again, enjoying the slippery feeling of being so intimate with another person. Another male. It was so taboo that Castiel wanted to rebel against it. What would the church think? What would his father think? He was a priest for god’s sake, what the hell did he think he was doing?

All thoughts were lost as Dean’s hand slid up, cupping his hardness through his jeans. 

“Dean, wait-“ he said in a panic, bottle slipping from his hand, soaking the carpet. “Dean, I-“ Castiel couldn’t find the words, couldn’t say what he wanted, couldn’t fucking breathe. “Dean stop!”

Castiel grabbed Dean’s hand in a tight grip and jerked it away from himself. Taking a deep breath, he calmed and said, “I apologize. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Please don’t be sorry. It’s my fault, man. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that but I just got so caught up in the kiss that I couldn’t help myself.” Dean explained himself, even though it was unnecessary.

“It’s ok.” Castiel said as he pulled back, “maybe that was too far for me, but I really enjoy kissing you. Could we stick to that for a while?”

“Yeah, Cas. Whatever you want.” Dean said quietly and sat back on his heels to look Castiel in the eyes, “what are we doing, man? Do you think this is a good idea?”

“No. Actually, it’s one of the worst ideas l’ve ever had.” Castiel stated honestly, “but I like it. As long as we don’t tell anyone and the church doesn’t find out, we will be fine. I’ve never rebelled like this before. I might not be ready for more then kissing at the moment, but if you can accept just that from me I would very much like to continue.”

Dean leaned down and kissed Castiel softly, “like I said, whatever you want.”

 

 

They decided to meet up again the next day, wanting to get as much time together as possible before the weekend rolled around. Dean would have to watch Sam and Castiel would have to be available for visiting his brother. 

Dean decided to take Castiel on a ride in the impala. Normally he wouldn’t let anyone other then family or victims in the car but Castiel was special. John said he’d be out for a few hours anyway, so they would have plenty of time to take a ride and come back. Dean didn’t really know his way around this town, so with a few directions from Castiel, they found themselves at the top of a grassy hill over looking the whole town. 

“This is where a lot of teenagers come to ‘make out’.” Castiel said, making Dean laugh at his literal use of quotations.

“Oh yeah? We role playing a couple of horny teens?” Dean said with a laugh, glad when Castiel laughed as well. “I can dig that.”

Dean smiled as Castiel rolled his eyes and scooted closer, Castiel’s large hand coming to rest on his knee.

“You really are handsome.” Dean said as he gazed into Castiel’s eyes, “clear blue eyes, tanned skin, muscles for days. Jeez.”

“Stop,” Castiel said playfully, “shut up and kiss me.”

Dean obliged happily, moaning at the feeling. He tried not to push too much, not wanting to scare Castiel away, but he couldn’t help himself. He placed both hands on Castiel’s cheeks, gently pressing his tongue against the other mans lips. His tongue danced with Castiel’s slowly, showing him just how to use his tongue to get his partner going. Castiel was definitely inexperienced when it came to most things sexual, which didn’t surprise Dean all that much. If anything, it was just another reason to like Castiel. This man was going to go possibly the rest of his life without doing this with another person but put all that on hold just because he thought Dean was special enough. 

Dean pulled back and rested his forehead on Castiel’s. “Shit, it’s too soon to feel this way.”

“Feel what way?”

“Like I’m, like I-“ dean cut himself off, unable to say the words.

“That’s ok. I don’t think you should say it anyway.” Castiel said, “it will just make this all harder in the end.” 

Dean nodded, “couldn’t agree more.” He sighed and turned his head to look out over the town, feeling Castiel do the same. “Hey, Cas? Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

“Of course, Dean.”

“Did you know you were gay before all this? I mean, you haven’t had any sort of major freak out over this. Makes a guy wonder.”

“Yes, actually. I’ve known practically my entire life. I denied it for a while since I thought my family would be against it. It was my brother Lucifer who helped me get over my fears and come out.” Castiel explained, heart beating faster at the thought of his brother. He unwittingly squeezed Dean’s hand.

“Lucifer, eh? You don’t talk much about him.”

“He passed away when I was sixteen.” Castiel said quietly. As soon as the words were out he was shocked at himself. He hadn’t talked about Lucifer with anyone, not even his family. 

It was like the flood gates were open and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“It was my fault. He died because of me. Our dad was gone all the time after Mom left so Michael and Lucifer stepped up and took care of all of us and they did a brilliant job. Lucifer is my second oldest brother, nobody liked him much. He was always getting into trouble, in and out of jail all the time, but I did. I cared about him so much.”

Castiel got choked up thinking about his past. Tears coming to his eyes at the thought, at reliving the tragedy.

“You don’t have to talk about it, Cas.” Dean said quietly and he hugged Castiel closer to his body. 

“When I came out,” Castiel pressed on, “Michael was devastated, he tried to tell me how God would hate me and I would go to Hell for thinking that way, while Lucifer was telling me that God still loved me and nothing would change. Over the years my brothers constantly battled on the subject, sometimes getting physical. Then- then it happened. I met a boy in school, Josh, who was the same as me. We were best friends for a while but it escalated quickly. We tried to keep it a secret, as his family was quiet religious too, but one day we were at my house and things got a little heated. Michael came in for something and that was it. I guess he always thought he could change me and when he saw me with the other boy, he lost it.“

Castile tried to hold in a sob but couldn’t letting the tears fall as Dean turned to hug Castiel to his chest. Castiel fisted Dean’s jacket tightly, sobbing.

****  
“Hey, Castiel, dinner will be finished soon!” Lucifer called from the kitchen as got the ingredients together. 

Castiel closed the door behind him and Josh, steeling his nerves. He grabbed Josh’s hand tightly as they made their way to the kitchen. 

“Luci,” Castiel said, getting his older brothers attention.

Lucifer turned around and looked at the two boys, eyes dropping to their connected hands. He stopped himself from grinning, not wanting the boys to feel awkward. 

“Oh? Is your friends staying for dinner?” He asked as he turned around towards the stove so he could smile.

Castiel cleared his throat and said quietly, “my-my boyfriend is staying for dinner.”

Lucifer was glad he turned around because now he was grinning manically, “oh, good. That’s good, I’ll let you know when it‘s ready.” He said tightly, cheeks starting to hurt. 

“Ok.” Both boys said then raced off the Castiel’s room. 

They sat on the bed next to each other text books open each doing their respective homework. After few moments of silence, Castiel turned to Josh, “you know, I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

“Oh yeah?” Josh said with a lighthearted grin, “fractions make you think of that?” He said with a laugh as he gestured to the text book. 

“No, I was thinking about you, how much I like you. How happy I am since we started dating.” Castiel said quietly, cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Oh.” Josh said, smiling, “well, I’ve never kissed anyone either. But I’d like too.”

Castiel looked up, “Yeah?”

“Only if it’s you.” Josh said cheekily, starting to laugh.

“Stop,” Castiel laughed as well, slapping a hand to Josh’s chest and just like that the mood shifted and their laughing slowly died off.

They leaned in, eyes closing as their lips met. Being young, restless sixteen year olds made the situation escalate quickly. Josh leaned back, pulling Castiel with him to lay flat against the pillows, not caring when their text books slid off their laps and onto the ground. They shifted until Castiel was laying over Josh, knees between Josh’s thighs. 

Castiel gasped the turned his head away as he felt himself growing hard. “I’m sorry,” he said, bitting his lip and shyly looking down into Josh’s eyes. 

“That’s ok,” Josh replied, feeling the hardness growing against his own. “we can go slow. No need to-“

“Castiel! What are you doing?”

“Michael?” Castiel turned around in surprise, heart stopped dead in his chest, then pounding away with adrenaline. “It’s- it’s not what it looks like.” He sat up try to look as inconspicuous as possible.

Micheal looked on with disgust in his face, “how dare you, Castiel. You would sin like this in your own house! God will never forgive you.” He advanced on the young boys, enjoying the look of terror that crossed Castiel’s face. “You,” he pointed at Josh, “this is your fault!”

“Micheal please, I’ll stop I swear, don’t hurt us.” Castiel pleaded as he slipped off the bed to stand in front of Josh.   
*****

 

“Michael ripped Josh from the bed and started hitting him over and over again. When I tried to pull him off he hit me too. Lucifer came in and tried to help but Micheal wouldn’t stop. He was shouting about how it was all Lucifer’s fault for encouraging my sinful behavior. He got on top of Luci and hit him over and over again. By the time the cops arrived, Luci was dead and Josh was knocked out. He suffered from severe head trauma and was in a coma for weeks. When he finally woke up he didn’t remember me at all.”

“Jesus, Cas.” Dean said quietly, pressing a kiss into Castiel’s hair. “Thank you for sharing that with me, it couldn’t have been easy.”

“I’ve never told anyone that story before.” Castiel said as he reached up and grabbed his rosary, “I joined the church right after that and have been with them ever since. Luci always wanted to be a priest, but because of his background he wasn’t allowed.”

“You’re a good person, Cas. You have to know that.” Dean said.

“I’ve never believed it before, until now.” Castiel glances up into Deans eyes, and leaned forward, kissing him softly.

“Is Michael the brother you’re going to see tomorrow?” Dean hated to ask but he needed to.

“Yes.” Castiel replied quietly.

“Then you are a good person.” Dean insisted, “that you would put aside all your pain to see your brother, after all he did? That’s pretty amazing, man.”

Overwhelmed with emotions, Castiel surged forward and kissed Dean deeply, getting breathless as the kiss grew more passionate.

“Do you think we should after that?” Dean asked not wanting to take advantage of Castiel’s fragile state.

“You make me feel so safe, Dean. I want to give everything to you.” Castiels eyes were wide and honest, taking Dean’s breath away at the implication.

“Are you sure?”

“There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more. Please, do this for me?” Castiel said as he sat up in order to face Dean head on.

“No need to convince me,” Dean said with a laugh and cupped Castiel’s face, bringing him in for a slow kiss. 

Castiel felt that he wanted to do more and worked up the courage to swing a leg over Dean’s hips and straddle him. 

“Oh?” Dean said with a laugh, letting his hands fall to grip Castiel’s thighs. 

Castiel let out a deep, slow breath as he pressed his chest against Dean’s. “I’ve been thinking about this since we first met.” He confessed, legs shaking with nerves as Dean’s thumbs sooth the inside of his thighs.

“Yeah, baby? What do you want me to do?” 

“Nothing- nothing for the moment, just-“ Castiel was unable to resist Deans questioning gaze. He leaned forward and kissed him, heart beating so hard he was sure Dean could hear it. 

Castiel gasped into Dean’s mouth as Dean’s head moved to grip Castiel’s sides, fingers digging into his hips, rocking Castiel back and forth as he lifted his hips up and down slightly. 

“Dean,” Castiel whispered as he moved himself, hands gripping Dean’s shoulders tight enough to bruise. 

Dean watched Castiel with wide eyes as Castiel morphed before him, going from shy and reserved to open and sexual. Dean’s breath taken away as Castiel rocked down against his growing erection.

“You’re perfect, Castiel. Beautiful. Sweet.” Dean said softly bringing Castiel in for a soft kiss. 

“It- it feels very nice.” Castiel said with a slight laugh.

Their pace grew faster as the air between them heated up, windows fogging. At a particularly good thrust, Castiel arched his back, head tilted up, a deep and rough moan breaking past his lips. 

“Dean... Dean.” Castiel mumbled his name over and over again as he grew closer to completion, shivers running up his spine as Dean responded with his own name. 

They came together, Dean silently, quaking as he curled into Castiel’s chest, and Castiel loud, breath sharp and quick, moans leaving his lips unchecked. 

Castiel collapsed on Dean, unable to stop his legs from shaking. “Thank you, thank you.” He said between placing gentle kisses all over Dean’s face. 

Dean laughed, “no need to thank me. That’s was beneficial to both parties involved.” He brought a hand up to Castiel’s hair, pulling him in so Castiel would lay his head against his shoulder, and ran his finger through the sweaty locks, soothing the other man. 

“I can’t believe I just did that.” Castiel said with a small laugh, “I got off with another man, I’m a priest, and I just had sex with another man in his- oh god in his car.” The laughing took over, shaking Castiel against Dean. 

“You’re not freaking out are you? Is this a freak out?” Dean said slightly concerned as Castiel laughed harder. 

“no,” Castiel sat back to look Dean in the eyes, he cupped Dean’s cheek, “not at all. I’m just... happy.”

Dean beamed at him and surged up to kiss Castiel, both laughing in delight as they fell to the side, splaying out in the front seat. 

“Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think?
> 
> Also I know practically nothing about church so if something is wrong please let me know.


End file.
